we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
