Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
