mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
