**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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