So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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