you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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