I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
