im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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