Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
