What did we do last night that was yellow?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
