I cockslap morals
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
