He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize