Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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