he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
