You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
