Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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