Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
