Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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