Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Randomize