Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
