he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
