My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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