Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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