can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
