Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
