I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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