Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
