its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
