He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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