i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
