Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
