i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
