everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
