Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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