his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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