question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
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4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
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This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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