Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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