It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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