She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize