Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
