I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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