i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
