You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
