Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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