Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize