I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
