Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
