my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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