Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
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I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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