Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
