you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So many bounce houses so little time
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
