"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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