it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
