im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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