He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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