I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Im part way to drunk.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
