So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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