How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
