what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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