We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
