This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
