We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
